One of the disadvantages of being a baseball fan with no social life is that I was stuck at home, on a Saturday night, watching two stupid teams play baseball.

On the good side, I got to watch the last two innings of Ubaldo Jimenez' no-hitter. And if laughter is the best tonic , then I did myself wonders, because I spent about two hours bowled over in laughter, watching the worst-played, worst-managed game I've ever seen.

(earlier in the day, when I ventured outside to visit the local garden centre, I was caught in a hail storm. That's a good sign that maybe it's better to stay inside and watch baseball)

Now, "worst-played" is maybe unfair, since there were some nice defensive plays, and obviously some pretty good pitching for 18 innings. "Worst-executed" might be a better descriptor.

And "worst-managed" is subjective; on a micro-level, it's hard to imagine that anyone could have managed that game worse than Tony LaRussa did. First, taking Matt Holliday out of the game in a 10th inning double-switch, so that Albert Pujols was "protected" by the pitcher the rest of the game. Second, letting the pitcher twice bat with the bases loaded ,rather than using his last pinch-hitter. And third, of course, using two position players, Felipe Lopez and Joe Mather, to pitch in a 0-0 game (plus there's also the question of whether he ordered Ryan Ludwick's ill-fated baserunning adventures in the 19th).

But Tony's obviously not an idiot, and on a macro-level, you can see his point of view. The Cardinals rightfully expect to make the playoffs this year, and it's not worth jeopardizing that over one stupid game in April. Holliday is apparently as sick as a dog, and it's impossible to guess how a starting pitcher will respond to a relief appearance between starts. LaRussa decided not to find out (plus the performance of Lopez and Mather, 2 runs in 3 innings, wasn't half-bad).

As the saying goes, every team wins 60 games, every team loses 60 games; it's what you do with the other 40 that matter. LaRussa decided to file this in the "loses 60 games" category, and still almost won.

On the other hand, if I were the owner of the Mets, I would have cleaned house immediately after the game, firing manager Jerry Manuel and GM Omar Minaya and anybody else who crossed my path. Not just over one game, of course; like Iceland's volcano, it's been building up years, preparing to blow (and truthfully, if I were the owner of the Mets, I would never have hired these guys in the first place; and if I had, I would have committed seppuku in the 19th inning, so I guess I would not have actually been able to fire them)

To point out the obvious:

• the decision to have Luis Castillo drop a sacrifice bunt in the 19th inning, against Joe Mather, is the single worst managerial move I've ever seen. All of LaRussa's nonsense was negated by that one, jaw-dropping blunder by Jerry Manuel. The Mets would easily have scored 4-5 runs that inning had they stood and waiting for Mather to throw a strike, rather than handing him outs on a silver platter
• Francisco Rodriguez was up and down all night in the bullpen, before he finally came out and blew the save in the 19th; after the game, he claimed that he threw 100 warmup pitches. So, he was ineffective, AND was unable to throw a second inning (starting pitcher Mike Pelfrey had to come out and get the save in the 20th), AND he's unavailable on Sunday. Even if K-Rod was exaggerating the number, that's not cause for Manuel to be fired, that's cause for him to be executed
• my God, is Mike Jacobs some kind of terrible player. Now, I know what fans are like; here in Toronto, we're already chomping at the bit to dump Lyle Overbay and his .085 batting average and call up Brett Wallace (which will happen soon enough - it's a long summer).
  
  But at least Overbay was kinda good last year; Jacobs was terrible. And last night, with the game on the line, he popped up a Felipe Lopez "fastball" (Lopez was hitting the 70's earlier in the inning, but his pitches to Jacobs didn't even register on the radar gun. Seriously). I'm with Mets fans; call up Ike Davis now. To hell with his arb clock, just let him get on with his career
• Jason Bay, on the other hand, is a good player, who's just really messed up right now. I presume he will play better... but watching him swing and miss at a 70mph Joe Mather fastball was one of the most pathetic things I've ever seen

I didn't tune into the Jimenez game until the 8th inning, but got to see the last six outs of the no-hitter. Two tidbits:

• I haven't seen a lot of Jimenez, and while I knew he was one of the better young pitchers in the league, I didn't realize he was combining 100mph heat with a Greinke-like 80mph curve. That was uber-impressive
• He was wild early on, walking six batters; but by the time I tuned in he was locked in, retiring the last 15 batters. Apparently, he started pitching solely from the stretch in the 6th inning, which dramatically improved his control without any loss in velocity.

EDIT: Fittingly, the Mets have apparently called up a Stoner to bolster the bullpen

EDIT #2: That didn't take long. Jacobs is a goner to make room for the Stoner. But I would still fire everybody.