You are likely aware that Vernon Wells of the Blue Jays is having a bad year. Some might suggest that he could be the worst player in baseball. On the surface, that seems a bit extreme; Wells is batting .255 with 13 homers, which isn't good but isn't historically awful or anything. But also consider:

• he's one of the highest paid players in baseball (actually, he's making very little this season; the big money doesn't kick in until next year. If he plays to his salary, that will work out well eventually... but many already consider his contract the equivalent of an investment in Enron)
• the team is sucking, on the verge of being swept by Boston, with Roy Halladay losing to Paul Byrd
• Wells is batting .194 with runners in scoring position, compared to a .281 average with the bases empty. He had a chance to win the game last night, but this picture sums up the result nicely.
• Wells is batting .202 at home
• Wells has an UZR of -19.5 - by that measure, he is the worst defensive outfielder in baseball

Now, like any defensive system, UZR is not the God's Truth; it certainly conflicts with Wells' reputation as an outstanding defensive player. However, as someone who has watched the Jays dozens of times this year, I will stand up for UZR and say that Vernon has had one pugly season defensively - whether you're talking balls that weren't caught or balls that were caught but awkwardly or line drives that weren't cut off or balls that were flat-out dropped - I've seen all of them.

On the other hand, I am admittedly biased, because I wrote the following in the spring:

...if the Jays are smart, they'll take advantage of this opportunity. When Vernon's hammy gets better, they should ease him back into the lineup as the right fielder - and leave him there for the rest of his career. Vernon has massive, tree-trunk legs, like Joe Carter and Ken Griffey Jr. have. Carter made the natural progression from centre field to right, then to left and then DH. Griffey killed himself for five years trying to play centre like he did in his youth. Vernon just turned 30... and he ain't getting faster. Alex Rios is younger, faster, and is a fine outfielder as well.

It's tough to tell a Gold Glover that he can't play his position anymore... but then, major league managers are supposed to be able to make tough decisions.

Not only have the Jays not made that tough decision, but with the expulsion of Alex Rios, there is now nobody else in the organization who can play centre field; Wells is likely to be back out there in 2010. With Adam Lind in left and Travis Snider in right... that could be double-pugly.

Anyways, with a hundred million dollars left on his contract, Vernon Wells isn't going anywhere; Blue Jays fans are just going to have to put up with him. And who knows; his bat might snap back.

In the mean time, if he wants it, I offer the following advice to Vernon: get fat.

The weird thing about Vernon Wells is that he seems to want to be Chone Figgins; every spring, he shows up in the "best condition of his career" and sets 30 stolen bases as his goal for the season. The two problems being:

1. he has never come close to 30 steals, and
2. no one gives a crap how many bases he steals

Youneverknow, but I don't think the Figgins fetish is going to work out as Wells moves into his fourth decade. Better to eat well, enjoy life, move to left field and hit some homers. The team can find a real centre fielder, move Lind to DH or 1st base. Of course, the reaction will be hostile next spring if Wells shows up 25 lbs heavier - but he busted his ass and lost weight over the winter, and today no one cares so what the hell.

Now, don't get me wrong - Chone Figgins is a fine player. He's also a free agent this winter, and if the Jays want him then they should go out and get him. Perhaps, if Vernon Wells gets a close up of the real Figgins then he will realize his body just ain't cut out for that type of work.