I am sitting at home watching the home team (Blue Jays) face their arch rivals, the Tampa Bay Rays. It's a good matchup - Toronto ace Roy Halladay vs Matt Garza, the guy who gave up 2 runs in 38 innings against the Jays last season. Garza has already given up two runs tonight - so has Doc, and the game is tied in the 5th.

The last couple of weeks there has been some drama surrounding the Blue Jays and their star pitcher. No, wait, make that drama. Doc is supposed to speak after tonight's game; all the Canadian networks are expected to interrupt their programming to air his press conference.

A quick search in Google News reveals 695 related articles. A sample:

Jays' Ricciardi done talking about Halladay
Jays' GM blames Halladay for trade talk
Lose-lose situation
Halladay not interested in extension
Ricciardi sets deadline for deal
Halladay trade unlikely, Jays GM says
Halladay weathers tiresome trade talk
Ricciardi Asking Impossible Price for Halladay
Jays' Halladay all but gone in Toronto
What options do Halladay owners have?

Halladay is signed through 2010 - even if the Jays decide to trade him, they could wait until after the season or even into next year, meaning that our long national nightmare may be far from over.

As a Toronto fanboy, you can count me among the many who want the GM to go into Don Corleone mode - wait for an offer you can't refuse. Given that Doc is (arguably) the best pitcher in baseball, and has (arguably) the best contract in baseball, this seems reasonable to me. Ricciardi said earlier in the season that he wants a "boatload" for Halladay; I'm thinking more along the lines of Noah's Ark:

In came the players two-by-two
Justin Smoak and Derek Holland too
In came the players three-by-three
Twice the haul for C.C. please
In came the players four-by-four
The Bedard deal but even more

However, although the Jays could in theory wait 12 months to trade Halladay, they may be thinking of public relations too. Ricciardi's statements have not, um, been received positively by the fans; President Paul Beeston's nightmare might be 12 months of more of the same... throw in the struggles on the field, and the team is about as popular as smallpox these days.

To be fair to J.P., his words are parsed and analyzed as though he were the President of the United States. But unlike the current President, who apparently can recover ably from poor use of words, the standard J.P. response to criticism is to make the matter worse before shutting up altogether.

Three years ago, I offered the following advice to J.P.:

Ricciardi also has a public relations problem, in that he keeps calling people who disagree with him idiots, and last week (in response to a Keith Law blog entry), said "it's so comical that I don't know whether to laugh or to throw up."

J.P. needs to lighten up. The four funniest words in the English language are:

• booger
• booby
• penis
• goat

"Booger" was also used by Dr. Johnny Fever in the pilot episode of WKRP in Cincinnati, making it one of the coolest words in the language. Next time, I suggest that J.P. just say something like "well, isn't that just a booger?"

Sadly, J.P. ignored this advice and now finds himself in his current predicament. In the meantime it is the 9th inning and the game is still tied 2-2. Doc is still pitching... the Rays get a couple of runners on base but he pitches out of it. The crowd is pretty fired up (at least by Toronto standards). But the Jays fail to score in the bottom of the 9th...

...and the Rays score two runs in the top of the 10th and win the game 4-2. Booger! Doc is supposed to address his situation right now... I'm sure he'll be in a swell mood. By the time you read this you will already know what he said, so there it is.